We have been waiting a long time to get this off our chests, so here goes: Remember this?
Seems like it was like 1,000 years ago doesn’t it? Now look where you are. You losers. You are 24 games out of first-place. You are 18 games under .500. You are fighting off the Kansas City Mother-Fucking Royals to stay out of last place in the division. You are in the conversation for worst team in baseball. You have a worse record than the Washington Nationals, who were thought of by many to be one of the worst teams in Major League history.
All but two National League teams have scored more runs than you. Are you fucking kidding? How is that even possible? 14 of the 16 teams in the league where the goddam pitcher bats have scored more runs than you? You have Jim Thome and his 500+ home runs as your DH, they have pitchers, most of whom couldn’t hit water if they fell out of a fucking boat, and almost 90% of them scored more runs than you.
Arizona and their .735 team OPS and Tony Fucking Clark batting cleanup has managed to score more runs than you? Arizona hasn’t even outscored their own opponents this year, and they have outscored you.
San Diego and their .250 team batting average and 55 stolen bases AS A TEAM, have scored nearly 4o more runs this year than you.
You didn’t think that Cleveland fans would forget that did you? It has been such a pleasure watching you suck all year. It has made the MLB package so worth it. Watching your horrible homer broadcasters complain and make excuses while you continue to suck. Watching your asshole players lose and asshole fans in the stands. Its been fan-fucking-tastic.
You can put THAT on the board. Yes!